No Ifs, Ands, or But-ers

No Ifs, Ands, or But-ers is the second episode in Season 2 of the series, Nicky, Ricky, Dicky & Dawn. It first aired on May 30, 2015, to an audience of 1.51 million viewers.

Summary
The kids are kicked out of the house all day for a short while, since Anne is preparing the house for a book club meeting she's hosting, and is excited since it is her first one. The quads become very bored, but are also annoyed with Madison, a girl at school, who always happens to have something better then them, and always says “But....”. The quads turn their garage into a hangout with music, candy and a lot of other stuff in an attempt to prove Madison wrong. However, she soon steals their idea, and while trying to compete with her, the four accidentally ruin the book club meeting.

Plot
The Harper Quads have and their friends including Mae over at their house which makes Anne proud that their house is the hangout place for their kids' friends. She just wants to cherish this moment forever... but then she gets a text and instantly kicks them out. The text is from the most exclusive book club in Boulderly Hills saying that they've finally accepted Anne as a member. But first, they must do a trial run by having her host the next book club meeting to prove that she's up for it. She can't let anything go wrong. She needs to have the house perfect. That's why she can't let the quads and their friends hang out there. Anne forces them to start hanging out in the garage.

Later on, the quads are drinking smoothies at Tom's Get Sporty, complaining about how they don't want to go home if they have to stay in the garage. They watch their dad bring in a new mechanical bull called "Terry the Bull" or just Terry-Bull. It's just terrible. To make things worse, here comes Madison aka "The But-er." They hate Madison because she is always one-upping them. Madison likes to remind everyone how she's better than them at everything, using her classic "buuuuut" (but). Madison tells them that she likes Dawn's jacket because it looks like hers buuuuut hers is better because it's real leather. She tells Ricky that she heard that he got 100% buuuuut she got 101% because she wrote in complete sentences and full words; so the teacher gave her an extra point. She tells him that she would be glad to come and tutor him buuuuut she doesn't want to hang out in the garage.

The quads are offended that Madison is making fun of them and now she's insulting their garage. To shut her up, they start making up things about the garage to make it cooler than it is. It's The Garage. It's the place to hang. Ricky tells her that there are even chargers to charge phones and tablets. Madison tells them that she will be there on Saturday. Dawn tells her to get their before 11am so that she doesn't miss the breakfast buffet. At that point, Ricky pulls Dawn aside. Why would she promise Madison breakfast? Nicky agrees with Ricky because he knows that he is the one who would have to cook all that breakfast. Dawn tells them that she got carried away and it felt good for one to "but the but-er." And that's another thing. Do they know how much butter Nicky is going to need?

Now the quads must pull off an epic breakfast buffet. They buy butter and all the grocery items they need. They invite all their friends over. Madison arrives a little earlier than she had told the quads. She finds Dawn throwing garbage in the trash can. Dawn undersells the buffet to Madison only to open the garage door and it's full of kids. There's a delicious breakfast buffet, music, phone chargers. Everything. Welcome to the quad club! Madison starts looking for something to complain about. But she can't find anything wrong. It's just perfect. The quads start dancing to celebrate the victory over Madison the but-er.

Ricky feels honored when he notices that one of the kids at the garage is Chet Acermen. He is one of the smartest students at school. He's aced every test he has ever taken. He is also the president of the Determined Organized of Researching Kid Scientists (D.O.R.K.S.). This might be Ricky's chance to become one of the DORKS. Meanwhile, a third grade kid named Lucas tries to talk to Dicky but Dicky tells him that he has to be at least in the fifth grade. Lucas offers to become Dicky's assistant which gives him a chance to stay at the garage. Life can't get any better for Ricky because his assistant is doing everything for him.

Over the next couple days, the quads have an amazing life at school because everyone loves them for their awesome garage club. It's time for Madison to prove that she's better than the quads. She starts her own garage with breakfast served all day. She invites everyone, making them leave the quads' garage. Even Mae leaves. Mama loves bacon, she says. The quads lose their power over Madison. Most of their breakfast friends start hanging out with Madison instead. Dicky's assistant Lucas quits and starts working for Madison.

The quads must come up with something big to top Madison's all-day breakfast. To win their friends back, the quads decide to take their dad's Terry-Bull mechanical bull to the garage so that the kids can ride it and have fun while having breakfast.

The next garage breakfast is on the same day as Anne's book club meeting. Anne has been working very hard to ensure that everything runs smoothly. She's been trying to get Tom to call Hank the Handyman to fix the electrical system in the house but Tom wants to prove that he's just as good. So, he decides to fix it himself. Needless to say, he makes the situation worse.

During the breakfast, the quads plug in Terry-Bull ready for a ride. The kids cheer loudly making Anne's book club question where all that noise is coming from. Anne pretends everything is okay hoping that it will quiet down soon. It doesn't. In fact, things only get worse when the electrical circuit glitches causing the mechanical bull to malfunction. The bull turns and forcibly breaks through the garage wall into the living room interrupting the book club meeting. The book club ladies are disappointed in Anne. Anne tries everything she can to keep them. She even denies having seen her family in her life. They don't buy it. She's left angry. She decides to punish the kids.

Madison pops in through the hole made by Terry-Bull. She starts making fun of the quads but Dawn interrupts her and tells her to save her "buts." They are done with her. If she needs to remind everyone that she's better than them in order to feel better about herself, fine. She tells her that they got in trouble because of trying to prove themselves to her. Not anymore. She can do whatever she wants.

Madison tells Dawn that there maybe a lesson for her there somewhere, buuuuut she doesn't care! Anne decides to apologize to the quads because she learned her lesson then Tom's mechanical bull rips a hole in the wall and chases the family.

Main Cast

 * Lizzy Greene as Dawn Harper
 * Casey Simpson as Ricky Harper
 * Mace Coronel as Dicky Harper
 * Aiden Gallagher as Nicky Harper
 * Allison Munn as Anne Harper
 * Brian Stepanek as Tom Harper

Recurring Cast

 * Kyla Drew Simmons as Mae Valentine
 * Jessica Belkin as Madison

Guest Cast

 * Elisha Henig as Lucas
 * Jaden Betts as Chet
 * J.J. Nolan as Lillian
 * Bob Plufdger as Himself
 * Ayumi Lizuca as Meredith

Voice Cast

 * April Audia as Phone

Trivia

 * This episode marks the first appearance of Madison.
 * There were two guest stars in this episode, one of them being, Ayumi Lizuca from Modern Family and Elisha Henig.
 * Just like in The Thundermans, Chris Tallman plays Hank.
 * This episode marks the second appearance of Bob Pflugfleder, although the first appearance in Season 2.
 * Goof: what Anne has done is illegal to be a book club member you have to have cheap members.
 * Goof: Anne could have had her book club meeting at Get Sporty in a private room.
 * Goof: Anne could have also had her book club in the garage.
 * Goof: it is possible that Anne could have let the quads come inside for food and bedtime.
 * For some odd reason, this episode is not available to buy on Amazon Video.
 * The episode is on Hulu.